Gregory Alia

I wanted to take a moment to write something about Greg. I know none of us has the ability to adequately capture all the pain, compassion, friendship, suffering, hurt, or anger we’re feeling, but it’s something many of us will need to do – probably more than just once or twice, over the coming days, weeks, months or years. Many of us will have to do this every day of our lives.

Greg and I shared many of the same interests and hobbies, including movies, games, books, and other stories – I will, then, try to write this through lenses I know Greg and all of you would appreciate.

Greg was the best man I’ve ever met, or will ever meet. I called Greg my best friend, but I wasn’t the only one who did. There are dozens of people who called Greg their best friend – and he was, to each and every one of them, the most wonderful person you could ask to have in your life. He was funny, silly, confident, laid back, and genuinely wonderful. If you needed somebody, Greg was the man for the job.

So, I wanted to write something about Greg, but also for everyone else, and tell you what I know about the man I knew, and the man we all loved.

One of the best things about Greg, and the quality I’ve always most admired and tried to reflect through my life, was his since of justice. Even as a young child, Greg believed that everyone should be treated fairly and with equality – a notion I have and will continue to apply to my entire life.  Knowing this, I can’t imagine a better job for Greg than being a police officer. It was something he always wanted to do. I grew up in Forest Acres, and with the Forest Acres police department. Greg and I knew some of them from school – including Officer Lewis, who worked at our school during our formative years. 

Greg and I spoke about his job many times, and he always believed that fairness, forgiveness, and equality where the best way to handle and situation. Many of my friends reflected on how kind he was, and how hard he tried to help people – especially those who were in trouble – and to my surprise even those who caused it.

Greg was a regular Wyatt Earp – a man of strong convictions with all the qualities necessary to make him one of the most honest and forthright men in law enforcement today.

I remember how proud I was to hear he was working in Forest Acres. When I asked him what it was like after his first few days, he said it was great, but that he now had a very long list of friends that have told him he wasn’t allowed to give them tickets. Looking back, I find this funny – especially since my mother would deliberately go out of her way to speed past Greg so she could get pulled over and talk him.

I think it shows how special he was that folks would risk a ticket just to speak with him for a few minutes.  Greg was a wonderful brother in blue. I’m sure there were many ladies not at all disappointed to get pulled over by the handsome man who looked so dashing in his uniform.

Greg’s brothers in uniform were not the only brothers he had.  Greg had official brothers at Phi Sigma Kappa as well – friends who will, no doubt, remember Greg and carry the best of him with them their entire lives.

When Phi Sig went looking for new members, Greg was the person we always wanted there. He was funny, smart, clever, and magnetic.  Phi Sigma Kappa had some of the best men out there – and I have to believe that was, in part, because Greg attracted the very best people.

Greg was so calm, casual and confident, that we often thought of him as the Big Lebowski – a man with such incredible cosmic gravity that you couldn’t help be drawn to him no matter what he was doing.

Greg also had dozens of friends from every stage of his life – and not only did Greg make friends easily, his best, but probably least noticed skill, was how well he was able to build friendships among people. Greg introduced friends to other friends, bringing people together. Greg was a lens, and people everywhere focused around him. Wonderful groups of people who loved him, and whom he loved, were born and remain as close as family to this day.

Greg had many brothers in the community, but he was also a brother to the family members he loved his entire life.

Greg cared deeply for every member of his family, and he shared many adventures with his uncles, aunts, and his cousins, whom he was especially fond of.

Greg’s sisters, Rebecca and Christine, were always a source of pride and admiration for Greg. Like all siblings, he picked on them sometimes, and they picked on him occasionally. I never heard him speak a mean word about his sisters, except on the rare occasion that one of them got to the last piece of Mrs. Alia’s famous chocolate cake before he could. In their defense, I may have been the one who ate the cake, and simply blamed it on his sisters. Sorry Rebecca and Christine.

Greg’s parents were a source of unending admiration for Greg.  We spoke often of his parents and how much he thought of them.

Greg always knew, as I do, that his father was one of the smartest men he’d ever known. Greg used to tell me that his father had forgotten more than I would ever know, and I believe that’s true.  Greg loved helping his dad through video games, though his favorite thing about his dad was his father’s laugh. Hearing his father chuckle always made Greg laugh, and he often said he wished his laughter had the same quality. I told Greg many times that he did, and I’m sure everyone here would agree with me.

Greg’s mother was also wonderful. She was always very kind and patient, especially since she often had two young boys screeching through the house, including one I’m sure she never signed up for.  Anytime Greg said something meaningful, he sounded just like his mother – something I think most guys might be upset to hear, but something Greg absolutely was not.

All of the qualities Greg had – his honesty, his friendship, his compassion, came from Greg’s family – and because of that family, Greg was able to share those character traits with us. You couldn’t watch Greg do anything, whether it was hike a trail, wash dishes, or play a game, without taking back a lesson for yourself.

I often tried to be like Greg, and much of myself is made up of lessons, thoughts, and feelings I’d taken away from my time with him, though I don’t know if any man could have been as good-hearted, kind, or friendly as Greg was. His outstanding character came naturally to him, and he offered a smile warmer than any handshake or hug to everyone, even those he’d just met.

I think the thing that most reflects Greg, however, is his new family – his wife, Kassy, was the woman he was destined to be with.  Many of us spend our lives trying to earn more money, drive faster cars, or wear fancier clothes. Since the day Greg met Kassy, I have known that Greg has had everything he needed. He was content, and had the only things he would ever need to be happy. He never worried about money or his job. He loved everything about his life, and wouldn’t have changed a single thing. The only complaint he ever had was that he wished he could spend more time with all of his family – and with so many friends.

Kassy was the final piece to Greg’s life. Never did anyone appear more complete or vibrant than Greg did with Kassy. Her sense of humor matched his own, and he confided that Kassy loved him so much it overwhelmed him, and he was always looking for new fun ways to show his love to her.

More than anyone else, Greg loved Sal. October 1^st was the first time I’ve ever gotten to meet Sal, a fact that causes me anguish – but I was able to learn a lot about the little man (and legend), and communicate with him, via numerous telephone calls and video game chat sessions.  I learned when Sal liked to go to bed –or, more specifically, when he didn’t like to, and I learned a lot about what Sal enjoyed, which included silly faces, several different types of music, and occasionally, watching colorful aliens get vaporized by rockets and lasers. If there was ever any doubt that Sal would be his father’s son, those moments made me certain that he would be.

We all gathered around Greg – each one of us had a group of friends or family members that knew him and cared for him because of the kind of man he was: A focal point for the community. I don’t think Greg ever realized that one of his super powers was the ability to bring people together. He was full to the brim of friendship and humility (except on the rare occasions that those colorful aliens got to him before he could get to them), but he surely shared those gifts with every person he ever met.

For these reasons, and so many others beyond listing, I believe Greg is in an honored spot in heaven. Every person has a different idea of what heaven might look like. I’d like to think that Greg’s is in Sto-vo-kor, the Klingon afterlife reserved for the honored dead, or perhaps he’s just entered the Matrix and can now fly and bend spoons with his mind. I think we all wish he would appear to us like Obi-Wan Kenobi – an apparition to help guide us through life. In many ways, he will. He could certainly grow a beard to match the part. As another great man once said, The Greg will be with us… always.

There will be difficult times ahead – things we intended to do with him, places we knew we would see him, but now won’t.  The hardest times, however, are the moments you can’t plan for. The text you suddenly want to send, the movie you suddenly want to share, or the police car you will excitedly believe has your friend in it, until you remember it does not. In those moments, when we are weakest, we have been given a remarkable gift – a gift left to us by Greg himself, and the greatest gift any of us can ask for. Friendship and community.

In those moments, I encourage you to reach out to this community. You may find yourself feeling alone – you are not! Reach out to Greg’s friends and remember all the stories you have together, and all of the amazing trips you’ve taken across the country.

Reach out to Greg’s parents, and tell them all the stories about how Greg ate over fifty hot wings in a single sitting, and about how much he loved spending time with his family at the lake.

Reach out to Greg’s fellow officers, shake their hands, and tell them how much you appreciate what they do, and how honored you are to have such fine, upstanding men and women serving and protecting your home, you friends, and your community.

And most importantly, reach out to Kassy and Sal, so that they will always remember how loved they are, and that the father and husband that was denied to them will never be forgotten.

Jean Luc Picard, captain of the Enterprise, was once told that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I believe, as he did, that time is a companion that goes with us on our journey, reminding us to cherish every moment, because they’ll never come again.

This was a tragedy – an outcome none of us ever believed would happen in a dozen lifetimes – but the real tragedy – the biggest one of all, would be to neglect the gift that Gregory Alia has given us all – friendship, community and love. Please share those things, along with your stories, with all of us, but especially with his family and fellow officers, and remember to talk to someone new today – because thanks to Greg, you both have something in common – you have the ability to share your strength and support with those who need it, and the friendship and support to carry on every day. Lean on each other, and remember to raise a bourbon (and maybe a hotdog) to Greg – and to the love he gave us all.